Can Kids Change Your Beautiful Marriage Into An Ugly One?

Every newborn baby is a blessing for his parents. But according to the latest researches the birth of the baby has negative influence on the couple. The increase of stress and the decrease of the level of satisfaction are some of the reasons that lead to the disagreements between the partners.


Professor Brian Doss from the A&M University and the psychologists Galena Rhoades, Scott Stanley and Howard Markman from University of Denver done a study in order to find the reasons which have a negative influence on marriage after the baby is born. In this study they inquired 218 couples whose average age was 26. 132 couples had their child in the first eight years of marriage while 86 couples had no children. They noticed a decrease of the marital satisfaction in both groups, but it was more rapid in the group of couples which had children. In mothers after birth they saw an increase in problem intensity, poor conflict management and decrease in relationship confidence while in fathers they saw an instant decrease in relationship dedication. When it comes to couples without children they noticed that the decrease of marital satisfaction happened over time. When they compared the mothers who had daughters with the mothers who had sons they found out that mothers with daughters had a higher decrease in marital satisfaction.

They say that male children correlate with lower rates of divorce because the fathers of female children are less involved in the care than the fathers of male children. Rhoades thinks that this is due to the facts that for fathers is easier to connect with their sons than their daughters. Professor Doss says that in one third of the relationship domains they examined, women reported greater relationship problems caused by birth. He thinks that this happens because women take up the share of the child care and if they were working before their birth they have many employment-related adjustments to work through. Also, he says that women have a better sense of the pulse of the relationship. According to him one of the difficulties that couples face after the birth is that their time without the baby is reduced so they can’t enjoy the things about their partner.

Psychologist Stanley says that women showed more immediate changes in their report of poor conflict management than men. He also says that the results of the study suggest that parents and non-parents generally show similar amounts of decline in the functioning of the relationship over the first eight years of marriage and these changes tend to occur right after the birth of the child and for non-parents occur gradually over time.

This means that couples who have a child show a rapid decrease of happiness in marriage than couples who don’t have children.