Once I became a mom, I get constantly condemned that I have not spent enough time with children. That I am constantly at work, my children were raised by nannies, but the reality is that I work until 17.00 am, and sometimes I have to travel, but not that much. I also received the “well-meaning” advice, to get a job in the school, so I can have more time for family and household. To be honest, I did not always received the criticisms indifferently. Probably, because of the feeling that you would really like to spend more time with children. And what mother would not want?
Criticisms? Are Day Good Or Badd
As time passed by, I began to realize that it is not only important to be physically present in the same room with your children, but spend quality time with them. In those 2-3 hours I was fully dedicated to my children. I read to them, we sang together, I told them stories, we draw, we did puppet shows… What I realized after my children grown a little, that even they spent only 2-3 hours with me and my husband, and with nannies 9 hours per day, the most important thing for them was what their parents teach them, not nannies or kindergarten. I did not expect that parents have such a profound effect on children, but realize that, when I heard my own words coming out of their mouth, and my own actions applied by them.
After they started to go to school like everybody else, they started extracurricular activities too. I felt that the activities are way children to learn a sport or to learn the discipline required by the sport and spend time with peers outside of the school desks. I played probably too ambitious, because it turns out that every day they had some activity. But their activity reduced the time that we spend together.
Although I persistently carried them to their activity, the results disappointed me greatly. They went swimming and basketball for a year, but they did not learn nor to swim, or play basketball. I know that a year is not too much, but the results were really disappointing. They could not even swim without aids, and they did not know the basics of basketball. And there was no discipline at all. My son is a bit passive, and when he did not want to exercise he goes to the wall and no one ask him to join the group again.
I am thinking to stop their activities. And me and my husband should teach them everything we know. Surely, we will invest more in them, than any coach. And our children will have memories of the time when we taught them how to ride a bike, how to play basketball or football, how to swim and dive, how to draw and speak a foreign language.
I believe that many parents would find their self in my story. There are many, who are in a constant race against time, trying to manage the activities their children attend to, with the idea that their children will become better persons and will provide a better future.
Children grow up, and time cannot be returned. Spend more time with them while they are still willing to spend time with us. When they grow up, It will be late.